I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. |
David Bissonette |
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When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. |
Sacha Guitry |
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After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. |
Hemant Joshi |
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By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. |
Socrates |
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Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. |
Dumas |
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The great question... Which I have not been able to answer... Is, "What does a woman want? |
Sigmund Freud |
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I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me. |
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"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." |
Henny Youngman |
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"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." |
Sam Kinison |
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"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage." |
James Holt McGavran |
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"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't." |
Patrick Murray |
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Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up. |
Nash |
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... |
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You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to. |
Henny Youngman |
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. |
Rodney Dangerfield |
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A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong. |
Milton Berle |
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Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy. |
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A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine." |
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First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." |
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