Wonderfulinfo.com
Home - Funny Photographs & Stuff

Disorder in the Court

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court." These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor,isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
A: Uh, he's twenty-one.
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
A: Huh?
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: And where was the location of the accident?
A: Approximately milepost 499.
Q: And where is milepost 499?
A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up! also?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male or a female?
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
John F Kennedy vs. Abraham Lincoln..the inevitable
John F Kennedy vs. Abraham Lincoln..the inevitable
Wonder History Lesson, meaningful coincidences that could not be explained by cause and effect.
Views: 212
  • Currently 5.00/5
Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
Provided by: Neha Parikh
Unbelievable Accidents
Unbelievable Accidents
Views: 640
  • Currently 5.00/5
Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)
Provided by: Fakhruddin Ali
Dog chasing the horse or horse chasing the dog
Dog chasing the horse or horse chasing the dog
When a Belgian Shepherd chases the 12-year-old half-breed, it fights back and tries to bite the playful dog's tail.
Views: 5492
  • Currently 3.20/5
Rating: 3.2/5 (10 votes cast)
Provided by: Arun M
Funny Transportation Pictures
Funny Transportation Pictures
Views: 2322
  • Currently 3.27/5
Rating: 3.3/5 (11 votes cast)
Provided by: Munna Bhai
Biggest blunders in movies
Biggest blunders in movies
Views: 2845
  • Currently 2.70/5
Rating: 2.7/5 (10 votes cast)
Provided by: Sameer A Joshi

Subscribe to us

Enter your email:

 

 

Random Wonderful Fact

Every square inch of the human body has an average of 32 million bacteria on it.
 
7 Ratings
Add to Google
To get Free SMS of Wonderful Info of the Day on your mobile (only in India) by click here or sending sms from your mobile: ON Wonderfulinfo to 9870807070

 

 

Best Video Clips of the Day

Underwater Boxing Match
1 min
Cute Pigeon riding on train
32 sec
Add to Google

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Article Info

Rating: 3.5/5 (10 votes cast)
Page Views: 1,282
Provided By: K Raman
Share This
Validation: Valid HTML 4.01 Transitional

 

Contact us: admin@wonderfulinfo.com 2006-2009 wonderfulinfo.com - All Rights Reserved